Lessons Learned on the eve of age 40

I am turning 40 next month! I love my life and turning 40 feels like this climatic era of my life; where past lessons, pitfalls, and setbacks collide to prepare me to live an unforgettable decade. The past 20 years has a beautiful journey. For this new decade, one of my most important intentions is that I live for myself and no one else.


When I turned 18 and was accepted into college, I remembered feeling lost. I felt like I knew what I wanted to do, but I still felt lost in who I was. It mattered what others thought about me. I intently focused more on what I needed to do to be validated by others. Honestly, I did things that might have been in the best interest of others, but at the expense of my value. And, after 20 years of growing and learning, I felt exhausted and deflated.


Existing to please and appease; valuing more what others think than my own opinion is draining. Allowing another person’s judgment to shape my identity, is restrictive and confining. Additionally, allowing another person to decide for my life rather than deciding for myself has been overwhelming and confusing.

Regretfully, I feel I may have missed opportunities because someone power to tell me I couldn’t or shouldn’t. Oh well… it’s all water under the age 20 to 30ish proverbial bridge. However, these life habits I am not taking into my 40’s.


My decisions to do what I want and be what I want are very intentional. Feel free to take my advice and reflect on my suggestions.

  1. It is ok to not agree with everything that people think.
  2. Don’t be offended if people don’t understand. If you “get it” , that’s all that matters.
  3. Do things because you want to and you don’t need to ask for permission.
  4. Accept your mistakes, but don’t allow others to make you keep paying for those mistakes.
  5. Let peoples’ judgments and misjudgments be their responsibility, but not yours.
  6. Prioritize how you feel about yourself; and understand that for some, you may be an acquired taste.
  7. Value your life; it has meaning. Your life is not a popularity contest or contentious race to be better than or more than the next.
    These are just points of advice that I am taking. As a result, I feel empowered, liberated, and grounded. Above all, I feel GROWN. I should feel grown, after all, I am turning 40!!!!!!

Anyone else turning 40? If you are, comment below and tell with intentions or advice for this upcoming decade.
OR comment below and tell me what advice you might have for how to live an empowering life.
OR just comment! I would love to hear from you!

7 thoughts on “Lessons Learned on the eve of age 40

Add yours

  1. Happy “grown” birthday to you. I love the concepts of your life advice you are taking into the new decade.
    Happy to make your acquaintance and hers to journeying together. Many blessings and much success!

    Like

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